How Do Men and Women Compare

In my 40s, men beat a path to my door in droves. My female friends, sex lives on the wane, apple green with envy Were.

I point out to them all that the same path Was open to them.

Explore your midlife sexuality and the hidden, unexpected joy to be found in it.

I speak from experience of the Wildest, most rewarding, wonderful quality Claim candidly Than That When I started my sex life in middle age.

I Was 36 When I met and married my second husband, and in my late 40s When We divorced.

The sexual attraction Between Us That We Had Was Enjoyed Such wonderful and wild, Passionate sex three times a day for the Entire marriage.

We'd make love on awakening in the morning ... cuddling up at Night Before going to sleep, When the warmth of a naked body Beside yours is irresistible ... and In The Middle of the day, Because We Both Home and Work from Could not resist the thrill of it.

It was fun of the frothiest kind. We Were twin souls and totally compatible sexual partners.

When Our marriage hit the rocks, we HAD AGREED That It HAD Been a fantastic feast Which Reach the end.

I left him, i walk out, and now I Was totally free to make love to whoever I liked. The sense of freedom Was Unbelievably exhilarating.

It Was this unbridled sexual freedom to Have A Existence Which Kept Me Going Through the inevitable agony of a wrenching break-up.

I Was Then 48 and HAD by fleetingly Entertained The Notion (I CAN NOT believe why now) That I might be Not as Alluring as I Had Been as a young woman. These Doubts Were soon dispelled.

I Was bowled over by the avalanche of male Attention Was Pursued and even more hotly Than I Had Been in my tender youth.

I must, however, Always Faithful Relationships recommend long and somewhere in a woman's life, at whatever stage. They Provide Such a sexual practice fine sand.

Those bed-years hone your skills, your sensitivity to Another Human Being's Needs, mood swings and moments of Exhaustion.

A woman Marvellous Become a partner with Increasing years. By her 40s she has been there and done it. She is a glorious creature of experience.

I feel Compelled to ADMIT That my sexual Continued heyday well into my 50s. Then I reinvented myself as to sober and Somewhat - Though Not Entirely - Being celibate.

Now, at 77, I can look back with pleasure at how I indulged my sexual appetite. Prolonged It Was a hugely life-enhancing and celebration.

My sisters all, I urge you to do the same.
MARCELLO D'ARGY SMITH EDITOR
Marcelle d'Argy Smith

Marcelle d'Argy Smith: 'Sex in my 40s Was a sweet relief from the torture of my 30s'

Of course Women in Their 40s are HAVING the best sex of Their Lives.

But it's Hardly to do with 'the railing at the inevitability of death' and 'losing Our looks', as one Psychologist've Claim.

It has more to do with pent-up lust and unexpressed emotions, of words unsaid, and the kind of grown-up sex That Probably Does Not Happen at home with a partner.

Suddenly It's like seeing the light. You put up with 15-watt-bulb sex for so long, and Then a 1,000-watt-bulb man flatters you and listens to you and - whooooosh, sex Never Felt feels like it before.

By Their 40s, most of my friends Were Women HAVING affairs. And Having the Time of Their Lives, too, After years of perfunctory sex with Their Husbands.

'I'm sure if you put someone else in the bed INSTEAD of me, Not my husband would notice, "one friend said.

Another said sex with her husband Exactly Always took four minutes: one minute to work up to it, historical two minutes to orgasm and one minute to wind down.

"He does talk to me Before, During or Afterwards," she said. There's a blessing, I Thought. What would you say?

It Did not surprise me wild These Women in Their 40s Had affairs. One divorced. The other HAD her heart broken and Crept back to her marriage - But She was much more confident and Stronger After the affair.

For me, Who stayed single, sex in my 40s Was the sweet relief of putting aside the torture of my 30s.

Who Knew if my 30s Were a good decade, or If I was attractive, or At Any kind of sexual peak?

For many Women, for many Reasons, the 30s are a tough time - you look great however. My 30s Were the worst time. I Crept to a psychiatrist and how much I loved moaner an impossibly selfish, funny Man Who Was Going Through an agonizing divorce with a woman I Called Hitler.


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Sex? It went from adorable, Surrendering to non-existent. I sulk while I sobbed. Then I staggered Into the arms of a charming man with corporate Whom I Had great sex. But I Did not Say He Was married. I Thought I Could Have Mentioned it.

I went off sex at about the same time as my married friends. We Used To Each Other phone and say: 'Is this it? "

But Some Time After my 40th birthday, I Felt the onset of a strange optimism and confidence. Probably the old "Life Begins at 40 'feeling Thought I'd Always Was a load of rubbish to console the elderly.

It Was like Being a chick hatching. I remember the sensation of bursting Slowly Through My old shell. Heaven Knows What That sensation is, or WAS, But we all Felt it Sooner or Later in Our 40s. A Feeling of Being Re-born.

I (single woman) Learned, Among Other Things, Could That Be sex separated from love (You Can Still Be Loving), and promptly got Into bed with Some Decent men attractive and I'd missed out on before.

I took my Affection to bed and my emotions left behind. Ah, the bliss of Not Being unfettered emotional.

My sex life no longer Was Dominated by the feeling That this HAD 'to go somewhere. "

Sex is not a national airline - it's fun, and pleasure. Easily I went back to one or two old lovers - and Had a much Friskies and, oddly enough, even more than before loving time. The good news is the 50s Can be wonderful, too!
LOUISE DR Foxcroft, HISTORY
Dr Louise Foxcroft

Dr Louise Foxcroft: 'We Need to stop repeating outdated Assumptions about menopausal Women'

So, new research Suggests That Women in Their 40s HAVING might be the best sex of Their Lives. Well, wake up, what's new?

Older Women Have Always Known this, But keep pretty quiet about it Because of the mud at them hurler That Is If They speak out.

Look at Our Society's emphasis on youth and beauty and despise the way it signs of age, witness the furore When an Older Woman Behaves in a sexual way and lets on That She Still Wants sex and likes it.

A quick glance at the history of female sexuality Potent Reveals the roots of this taboo.

The idea That Older Women Have Little or No Interest in Sex Can be traced back to the 19th century and beyond.

Some doctors recommended sex Completely Women That Gave Up When They hit 40, and Believed That Love should be banished for ever from eleven o'clock Their Hearts Were They Approaching menopause.

Such as camphor Were Drugs prescribed to help with unwanted sexual urges.

Women of Our Grandmothers' Even Thought Were generation insane for loving sex. But today we can say That Sex Is Better When You Are Older Because of experience, Independence, relief from the Risk of pregnancy and, frankly, my dear, Just Not Giving a damn.

A hundred years ago, a doctor Called Heinrich Kisch wrote The Sexual Life of Women, marveling That It Was' Precisely in Women of the climacteric age [That] there exists a strong desire Often. "

Influential His contemporary, Dame Mary Scharlieb MD, Thought It Was' extremely pathetic to find well on Women 50 years of age to WHO are keen as on sexual Apparently Enjoyment as a bride might be. "

Opinions like hers Have Become self-fulfilling prophecies and Harmful, all sorts of misplaced Fostering Fears and anxieties.

The sexualisation of Our Society has undoubtedly muddied people's Expectations and Understanding of sex, and Turn It Into the looks and performance-oriented, one-trick pony parody, When it is a much deeper and rarer creature.

Some Women, of course, to experience Their Lowering of libido When They pass 40 - and remove content might be With That, Pleas, even.

Undoubtedly, this is how sexuality Can Sometimes Be When You Are Older, or not longer available on the Center Fully Lives and Needs of Others, and Able to experience a more reflective sexual response.

OCCUR Changes Which May around the time of menopause might be Equally Caused by Other partners INVOLVING life events, work, children, elderly parents, quality of sleep and health.

Yet if Women report a loss of interest in sex They May Find Themselves Being prescribed hormones to Maintain A Higher level of libido, an Uncle Tom incompatibility with Other Aspects of Their mid-life experience.

Historically, Assumptions That idea Such absurd as the sex stops, or at least should stop, at menopause HAD Have Serious Implications for the Treatment, health and well-being of post-menopausal Women.

Research by Such groups as The Pennell Initiative for Women's Health, a charity campaigning for the Needs of Women over the age of 45, Which has commissioned Research into sexuality and the menopause, is trying to rectify the mistakes.

The Pennell study of 2001 Attempt to demystify what, for many, Remains a taboo subject, and to show That sex is important to many Older Women.

According To the Report, or women's sexual arousal to orgasm Actually Capacity increases.

Further, According To The New Hite Report (2000), Older Women Are More Likely to enjoy multiple orgasms more Than Young Women, and the confusion between 'reproductive activity and sexual pleasure is playing havoc with Our Lives.

We Need to stop repeating and relying on outdated Assumptions about menopausal and Older Women.

Some Women May Want to get back on the sexual merry-go-round, Others May want to get off it. But whichever you choose, the truth is That freedom is a well-document aphrodisiac.

* Hot Flushes, Cold Science: A Modern History Of Menopause by Louise Foxcroft is published on March 12 by Granta, £ 14.99

PHILIP NORMAN, AUTHOR
Philip Norman

Philip Norman: 'Sex Has Been Better Than It Was infinitely before'

Self-confidence Helps keep the sex urge primed at Any Time of life, and it's good to know That the ageism Generally Against Women Practise That does INHIBIT.

Certainly, most of The Older I've Known female pop stars are Incapable of Without Entering a first recording session eyeing up a promising young male guitarist.

The sex you're HAVING depends, of course, on Whether you're single or married.

A marriage That one started in one's 20s might well Have Become stale by one's 40s - in the bedroom most of all.

One famous French writer When I Certainly Thought so wife Described as' a couch on Which One To The woman makes love of one's dreams. "

I Had the good luck, or whatever it WAS, to be single for most of my 40s.

When I Thought I Had Turned 40: 'That's it - it's all over with me and sex. "

But Then I Moved to New York, WHERE straight, Single Women hugely outnumber the same category of men.

Suddenly They Were coming at me from all directions, like Exocet missiles. I Did not Marry Until the age of 47 - But to the right person.

And since then, absolutely everything - Including sex, of course - has-been infinitely It Was Better Than before.


THE SECRETS OF MID-LIFE SEXUAL CHEMISTRY

A woman's sex drive is dependent on Many Things, Including Psychological Factors and Hormones, says Peter Bowen-Simpkins, a Spokesperson for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists and medical director of the London Women's Clinic.

"Physically, it is the hormones That Have The Most Impact, and one reason Women in Their 40s feel more sexually driven May Increaser is due to testosterone levels.
Traditionally Testosterone is Thought of as a male hormone, But All Women produce it from puberty.

"It has a Number of Different effects, Including Boosting sexual desire. However, it is a very Powerful hormone, so Women produce the sex hormone-binding globulin
(SHBG), Which mops up much of the testosterone to help keep in check ITS effects.

'Levels of SHBG are Dictate by estrogen, and as Women approach menopause, estrogen Their Levels fall. The knock-on effect of this would be an Increase in testosterone - Which Could Lead to increaser desire. "

There are Other Explanations for this age group's sexual desire, Such as the female hormone, oxytocin.

Professor Ellis Downes, consultant Gynaecologist and obstetrician at Chase Farm Hospital, Middl esex, says: 'It Can Help a Woman Feels Promote the bond with her partner. However, while Levels Tend to Drop gets a little as to Older Women, the Women Have more sex to the more oxytocin she produces - it is Known as the libido meter.

'So going on If You Consider Other Factors During a woman's 40s - She Will Have anxiety about falling pregnant less, and Tends to Be more confident about her body - Could It Explain Why She Feels partly more sexually Driven. "

He adds That an awareness of the Benefits of doing pelvic floor exercises, plus the number of births Increaser Caesare (natural births Weaken dog pelvic floor
thigh), Also Could be factors.